Hello You Magnificent Being, You
It’s crazy to think that…
36 months ago, I was ready to end it all.
I’d faced a traumatic experience at my job, made the hard decision to be vocal about it – regardless of the outcomes, and was laid off.
My relationship also ended a little while earlier and that person had moved on with someone within our group.
I’d been cast aside and discarded in two important areas of my life, going from maybe $2,100 take home to $0 take home. And having people distance themselves from me at my former job because of my decision to declare that I was willing to take my experience with them to the media if they did not reprimand the other party involved, accordingly.
Sides were taken, voices were in whispers, and looks said a mouthful — in both situations.
I didn’t want to be here anymore.
I drove home recklessly. Not caring – and actually hoping – an 18-wheeler would come along and wipe me out of existence.
I wanted to go. And I was resolved in finding a way to do so that didn’t take a long time and wouldn’t hurt.
It’s funny, because when you’re in that mode you look at things differently. Incoming traffic. Water. Bridges. Nature hikes with beautiful views and steep cliffs. Your bottle of Advil you use for your cramps..
… I was literally at a crossroads: do – or – die.
And I had two thoughts: “you can die or make your life worth living” and “why should THEY be the ones that get to stay while YOU go”?
So I got to work. I went to therapy.
And I told myself I was going to go for EVERY dream I’d ever had.. That was the promise I made to myself so that I wouldn’t regress: before you end your life, go for every single dream you’ve ever had.
I said “screw them” to my ex and created the brand FMYX. First starting with writing a book, which was something I’d always wanted to do.
Then I took that draft and actually decided I was going to publish it and started using my savings, loans, unemployment, and COVID stimulus checks to help me hire someone that could publish it. And I did November of that year.
I decided that even though the place I worked at technically did give me what I wanted by having the individual I wanted gone no longer employed by them, that it wasn’t enough.
I took that individual to court.
Then, I found someone who taught people how to monetize their talents and get their business started from scratch — the RIGHT way — and I started building a business with the same sources of income I used for my book.
I went back to school.
That book I ended up publishing? A few months later, it ended up being sold and shipped by Walmart.
That court case I had? I won. And I went through it all by myself – which gave me a sense of pride. .. When I was younger and similar things happened to me by adults I trusted, my parents weren’t able to step in and WIN.. I just had to deal with it.
But an incident happened again when I was older, at the job, and me winning that case felt the equivalent of me screaming the word “no”, when my voice couldn’t all the times before. Going to court and winning was my way of validating that what happened wasn’t okay, and I wasn’t going to stand for it.
By the time savings, loans, unemployment and stimulus checks started to dwindle, I’d landed my third client.
The quickest way I knew to make income was to do the work I’d always done. And life transitioned to being virtual, which I used to my advantage to gain work.
While I had those three clients secured and taking care of my livelihood, I focused on what I really wanted to do: helping women like me still be able to win at life despite what’s been thrown at them.
So I pivoted from FMYX to my personal brand and focused heavily on how to help women mitigate the challenges in their lives so that they can still produce and see results. And for dirt cheap, I started teaching other women about how to stay resilient so that they could hit their goals and land where they wanted to be in life, regardless of what life handed them.
I started getting press.
I got featured in Forbes Magazine.
I opened my second company and made it official. I now had a boutique consulting firm designed to help provide everyday people with the tools and resources they need to enhance their personal and professional lives.
I’d realized the importance of goals and personal growth because it’s what saved me.
I’d always been ambitious and knew I was going to be somebody. I always envisioned myself making it. But there was a crap ton of dissonance between who I was and who I wanted to be, and where I was and where I wanted to be.
When I closed my eyes I saw myself impacting the lives of millions of women. I saw women crying, thanking, and hugging me.
But when I opened my eyes I saw homelessness.
Sleeping in a park.
Sleeping in a car under grocery store street lamps.
Sleeping on an air mattress on the floor.
Wanting to say “no” and do what’s best for me.
“No’s” that weren’t respected.
“Yes’s” that the universe apparently didn’t care about.
And not enough money to prevent car repossessions and pending evictions..
The math wasn’t mathing..
And what I learned from that was that progression and hope help decrease the chances of you having suicidal ideation.
Reduced suicidal ideation equals reduced suicidal intent.
Reduced suicidal intent equals reduced attempted suicides.
Reduced suicidal attempts equals reduced completed suicides- and that was the goal.
I didn’t want anyone else to suffer that way.
I didn’t want anyone else to be numb.
To have their eyes glossed over and not caring.
And from being one thing away from saying “eff it” and doing something irreversible and in the moment.
That’s what I didn’t want…
So after I launched my second company, I created an app called The Self-Help App because I was really big on the importance of personal growth: you have to build yourself to become the person required to get the job done.
That’s part of Phase 1: restore hope. When you feel like things can actually get better, you’re more willing to stick around. So I created The Self-Help App to give people tools and resources to enhance their personal growth and development and be in a positive and motivating bubble.
Phase 2 is progression. Once someone actually feels that things can get better, now it’s time for things to actually startgetting better.
That’s when I launched Goal Accomplishment Made Easy. Since I had gotten to a place where I’d built myself up and away from my trauma, and put systems in places that consistently helped me win, I realized I’d entered a different phase and needed to create something for people that have done their inner work as well and are now ready to make things happen.
I’d had some significant wins under my belt, was able to move someplace the younger me would fangirl over, consistently had north of $7,000 coming in monthly — when the highest I’d ever brought home at a job was $2,100, and I never had another job since I was laid off.
And then my business grew to the point where I was able to bring on a team.
Now, I am avidly planning my escape to the west coast, and am buying my dream car in T-4 weeks.
The point in me taking the time to basically write out a mini autobiography? To help you see this: you have everything it takes to live the life that you envision and you are worthy and more than capable of making it happen.
Send me a message in my chat box over at desireestapleton.com if this has helped you in any way.
From one warrior to another: outlast all the obstacles, be the last one standing 🌹🌻
Learn more about The Self-Help App and Goal Accomplishment Made Easy here.